


Hello, Friends and Family

by AnnetheCatDetective



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Epistolary, Kid Fic, M/M, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 16:50:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18595429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnetheCatDetective/pseuds/AnnetheCatDetective
Summary: An unconventional family newsletter.





	Hello, Friends and Family

**Author's Note:**

> This was born out of a conversation on the Ritzcord, about Aziraphale and Crowley winding up with a half-demon, half-angel baby to raise, intended to act as an emissary between the two sides. Having some experience, if not sanctioned experience, the two agents stationed on earth would naturally be saddled with the baby and tasked with raising it, both of them expected to TRY to sway the child to their own side, both of them far more interested in actually co-parenting-- and eventually, just being a family.

Hello, Friends and Family,

 

As you know, we’ve just been blessed with a bundle of joy. Yesterday, Crowley and Aziraphale were given the Emissary Between Heaven and Hell, to raise with a balanced influence. Both new daddies have some experience, and know which mistakes not to make this go-around. 

 

Crowley won the coin toss to name her, and it’s not that Aziraphale was  _ worried _ , but let us say I’m sure some of you will be relieved to know the Emissary’s name is Chavah. She’s healthy and happy with all the limbs and phalanges one expects to see on a baby. No wings as of yet, but we anxiously await the first manifestation.

 

So far everything’s going very smoothly. Of course, no such being has ever existed, so there is a lot the baby books can’t tell us. Aziraphale has pointed out several times that there’s never been an infant angel, and Crowley has helpfully explained how our Chavah really isn’t anything like the usual hellspawn. Both daddies shall just have to do their best. Enclosed, see our little bundle of joy on her very first day. As you can see, her daddies have put lots of care into her nursery.

 

Lots of love,

Your Agents on Earth

 

\---/-/---

 

Aziraphale- Puzzled by latest report. Why was picture included? We dropped the Emissary off that same day, and are aware of how it looks. Keep us updated about pertinent facts.- G

 

\---/-/---

 

CROWLEY STOP RECEIVED REPORT STOP ASSUME IT WAS WRITTEN BY THE ANGEL STOP JUST DO YOUR JOB THIS TIME STOP

 

\---/-/---

 

Hello, Friends and Family,

 

     Our little bundle of joy is growing in leaps and bounds. As you can see in the photographs, we've just begun manifesting wings! Both daddies are very proud. Not yet ready for flying lessons, but any day now... Chavah loves being preened, and it’s been a wonderful father-daughter bonding experience. Of course both sides have had equal time!

 

    Aziraphale has been handling the middle-of-the-night feedings, and we're not sure what the dietary needs of an angel-demon hybrid are, considering neither really needs to eat, but it seems to calm our little darling right down to get a bottle now and then. Crowley's been taking baby Chavah on regular walks in the park, and we just have to say, the locals all seem to agree on what a sweet baby we have on our hands! Both daddies are as nurturing and loving as you can ask for. You couldn’t hope to see a sweeter, lovelier, happier Emissary Between Heaven and Hell! 

 

Lots of Love

Your Agents on Earth

 

\---/-/---

 

Aziraphale- It shouldn’t need to eat. What information am I supposed to be getting from these photographs? -G

 

\---/-/---

 

CROWLEY STOP PLEASE SEND IN YOUR OWN REPORTS INSTEAD OF COPYING THE ANGEL STOP DEMONS DO NOT PREEN EACH OTHER STOP

 

\---/-/---

 

Hello, Friends and Family.

 

Having received lots of well-meaning advice, we are muddling along and doing our best, and of course our first priority is Chavah’s health and happiness. You’ll be pleased to hear she’s doing so well. We had one bout of colic, but now we’re doing just fine. We’ve taken to co-sleeping. Aziraphale doesn’t sleep, and is able to keep an eye on our little bundle of joy, but everyone is just much more comfortable with the arrangement we’ve worked out. She feels safe and sound tucked in with her daddies.

 

Aziraphale has discovered the importance of a spit-up rag-- blessed to withstand acid, of course. Funny the little things you have to learn for yourselves when you take up parenting! Crowley has claimed the role of ‘funny daddy’-- enclosed you’ll see a picture of Chavah laughing at a bit of mischief involving a pie shell full of whipped cream. Not everyone thinks Crowley is so funny, but then, not everyone can have the refined sense of humor of an infant. Aziraphale knows all the best lullabies. 

 

We’re very proud of our darling girl as she continues to grow! Looking forward to first steps and first words. 

Lots of Love,

Your Agents on Earth

 

\---/-/---

 

Aziraphale- What is colic? Explain co-sleeping! Do NOT explain spit-up rag! -G

 

\---/-/---

 

CROWLEY STOP DETAILS REQUIRED STOP HOW DEMONIC WAS ACTIVITY WITH PIE SHELL AND WHIPPED CREAM STOP

 

\---/-/---

  
  


Hello, Friends and Family,

 

    Baby's first fangs have come in, and Crowley couldn't be more pleased, though we're going through teething toys at an alarming rate. The best bet is just a washcloth that's been kept in the freezer, we've found. Aziraphale's been busy looking after bumps and bruises as the adventures in learning to walk continue! The argument continues over who's going to be called what, for now both daddies are simply 'dada' and couldn’t be happier.

 

    We’re really filling out Chavah’s baby book. No place for feathers, of course, but we pasted them in alongside the lock of hair from Baby’s First Haircut.

 

    Flying lessons still consist of sitting on Crowley’s shoulders with wings spread, while he runs around the backyard, but she has gone up on flights while strapped into the baby bjorn. She’s not at all afraid of being airborne so long as she has one of her daddies close by! Aziraphale has done most of the picture taking while Crowley handles those early flying lessons. Enclosed is a picture of the three of us.

 

Lots of Love,

Your Agents on Earth

 

\---/-/---

 

Aziraphale- We’d prefer the Emissary not have fangs, possible to do something about this? -G

 

\---/-/---

 

CROWLEY STOP GOOD JOB ON THE DEMONIC INFLUENCE STOP FANGS LOOK GOOD STOP

 

\---/-/---

 

Hello, Friends and Family,

 

Chavah’s had her first experience with a sitter! Auntie Anathema says she was very good and mostly just slept. We’re sure she did miss her daddies, of course, but she’s got a very healthy attitude about staying with new people and not being fussy.

 

Crowley and Aziraphale had a very nice evening out, but were happy to come home to our little bundle of joy. It’s funny, when you first wind up with an unexpected baby, you think about all the ways your life changes, and all the things you’ve got to give up, and the nice restaurants you can’t take a baby to, but now we can hardly imagine going back to the life we had before! It was a struggle not to call home every ten minutes! But now we know Chavah will be just fine if we ever do need to find alternate care of an evening. And, after all, sometimes daddies need their time, too, even when we are happiest staying home with our precious little bundle.

 

Lots of Love,

Your Agents on Earth

 

\---/-/---

 

Aziraphale- Is this Anathema from Hell? Please don’t leave the Emissary in an unbalanced situation, even for one evening. I assume the whole point of you taking a night off together would be to avoid that kind of thing. -G

 

\---/-/---

 

CROWLEY STOP ANATHEMA NOT ONE OF OURS THOUGH NAME SOUNDS PROPER STOP WHO ARE YOU LEAVING THE EMISSARY WITH STOP 

 

\---/-/---

 

Hello, Friends and Family,

 

Our little girl is growing up so fast! Hard to believe… Enclosed are more pictures. She’s walking and talking (a bit) and has started really trying to take off with her little wings. We’re going to have to childproof the upper shelves soon! Crowley’s so proud of her progress, though, and well he should be. He’s so good with her.

 

Aziraphale would like to report some great success in getting Chavah to eat her vegetables (though not all vegetables are created equal. Mushy peas are a clear favorite at present). She’s sleeping through the night in her nursery most nights a week now with no fuss. Of course her daddies do miss having her close every night, but… well, sometimes it’s nice to have a little time to ourselves!

 

We took Chavah to the park recently to feed the ducks. A certain daddy who shall remain nameless (but his initials are Crowley, it was Crowley, of course it was Crowley) was terribly naughty and sank them to make her laugh, and we’ve had a little chat about that. The only problem with these nice family outings now that she’s a bit bigger is that she’s still too young to understand when not to manifest her wings, so Aziraphale had to work very hard to keep the mortals from noticing, but she so loves being able to run about the park, and she loves strangers-- and animals. 

 

Crowley was worried her demonic heritage might prove a problem with animals, as most creatures are rather wary of any demonic energies, and those that aren’t are either flighty around anything human-shaped, or somewhat uninteresting in comparison to dogs and cats and ducks and bunnies. We were very pleased to find that this is not the case-- though Chavah possesses very charming little fangs and a firm tendency towards impish laughter when exposed to mischief, she also has an angelic aura which animals take to, and one very bold duck has allowed himself to be patted (though Aziraphale was very careful in teaching her to be gentle!), and we’ve had a nice experience with a big dog on a walk in the park who doesn’t mind having his ears tugged by a curious little one. Please enjoy our photos from the park!

 

Lots of Love,

Your Agents on Earth

 

\---/-/---

 

Aziraphale- sorry, is the dog important? -G

 

\---/-/---

 

CROWLEY STOP PLEASE STOP

 

\---/-/---

 

Hello, Friends and Family,

 

Chavah is getting so big! As her powers are beginning to manifest and as she very much prefers to keep her wings out, we are not looking into nursery schools for future, but will be looking after her here at home.

 

Socialization is important, of course, but luckily we have Auntie Anathema to arrange playdates with (a note for our loved ones Above and Below- Auntie Anathema is a witch and a human. You might remember her from Armageddon! Anyhow, she’s an absolute dear and we don’t know what we’d do without her), and of course the park. As long as one of her daddies is on hand to make sure no one notices anything funny, Chavah can play with the other little ones her age there. She’s picking up peer socializing very well!

 

Both daddies continue to be so pleased and so proud of our little girl. She’s as clever as clever, and gaining in independence every day. Often now she is content to play with her toys while her daddies go about with things. Not that we don’t happily drop what we’re doing when she needs us, but Aziraphale has missed reading things not by Dr. Seuss, and ever since Chavah outgrew the baby bjorn, Crowley has had a much harder job gardening with his little helper. 

 

So exciting to watch her grow, but sometimes we must admit we do miss having that little bundle we once held in our arms…

 

Lots of Love,

Your Agents on Earth

 

\---/-/---

 

Hello, Friends and Family,

 

     We are expecting a second little bundle of joy. Our little one is looking forward to a new baby brother or sister, and both daddies are sure you'll agree that it was an oversight to leave such a big job in only one little pair of hands! We feel very strongly that our family just wasn't complete with a single Emissary. For now, they'll be sharing the nursery once little bundle number two arrives. 

 

    Flying lessons are going very well, as you'll see in the photos. Crowley's continuing to do a wonderful job with it. Aziraphale is going through the baby things we've saved in anticipation of the new baby, and it's bringing up a lot of memories, so included are some older pictures as well.

 

    Thank you in advance for your well-wishes as our precious family expands!

 

Lots of Love,

Your Agents on Earth

 

\---/-/---

 

Aziraphale- SORRY WHERE ARE YOU GETTING A SECOND BABY? Talked to Hell, they don’t know anything about it, so… what the actual Hell is going on here? WE REQUIRE MORE INFORMATION -G

 

\---/-/---

 

CROWLEY STOP EXPLAIN STOP

 

\---/-/---

 

Hello, Friends and Family,

 

We realize there’s been some confusion about our happy announcement! You see, when two daddies with a rather flexible relationship to physical form love each other very much, sometimes a half-demon/half-angel offspring is created. Of course it took a lot of serious discussion about the time and work necessary to raise a second child, and whether we had a big enough house, and who would do the carrying, but after lots of thought and talk, it really was the only choice for us.

 

Chavah is very excited to be a big sister and to share her nursery (for now), and we’ve explained things to her as best we can, at the level appropriate for a being of her age. We’ve told her the baby won’t be very fun to play with at first, but when it grows up a bit, she’ll have someone to play with and learn with and grow with-- and as the big sister, she’ll be able to help teach the new baby some of the things she’s already learned. She’s very excited to help when the time comes for bundle number two to learn to fly!

 

We’d like to be surprised by the sex, so don’t bother asking. We don’t want any preconceived notions about our recently conceived darling, and it’s much easier to explain to people that we just don’t know than to tell them we are an inherently unsexed species.

 

Lots of Love,

Your Agents on Earth

 

\---/-/---

 

Aziraphale- You’re joking, right? -G

 

\---/-/---

 

CROWLEY STOP WE REPEAT STOP PLEASE STOP

 

\---/-/---

 

Hello, Friends and Family,

 

It was Aziraphale’s turn to name the baby this time, so please meet bundle of joy number two, Tony. Healthy and happy! Chavah loves getting to hold her new brother, and she’s very gentle with him. We’re so proud of our whole family!

 

Our apologies for not updating you right away, but the birth and the days after have been very busy for us. As you can see in the pictures, one of little Tony’s eyes has changed color, so he’s got one blue and one yellow. He’s absolutely the most beautiful little baby since Chavah.

 

For now, we’re co-sleeping again so that Chavah can sleep through the night without the baby waking her, but she’s very excited to share her nursery. By the time he’s sleeping through the night, we think the bloom may wear off the rose, and no sooner will they be sharing the nursery but she’ll insist she’s too big and must have a room of her own, but for now, things are happy and harmonious in our little house. We’ll build on an addition when the time comes.

 

Chavah is now flying all by herself, with careful supervision. We had one incident where she flew out too far and tuckered herself out, and Crowley had to carry her back home, but now she knows her limits a little better and knows if she doesn’t want one of her daddies to have to carry her, she can’t go too far. It’s just like walking and running, we’ve told her. She’ll grow into it the bigger she gets and the more practice she has. She’s been told she must be on her best behavior when flying with Crowley, as now when they go out, Aziraphale is in with the new baby, and she mustn’t do anything to worry her daddies, and she’s being much more careful now. Both daddies, of course, take turns making sure both little bundles of joy are getting attention from each. We’re still waiting on Tony’s wings, but he’s not yet as old as Chavah was when hers first manifested, so we’re not worried about that-- though Chavah asks every day when we’ll see them.

 

Thank you for your care and concern about our growing family! We’re very, very, very happy.

 

Lots of Love,

Your Agents on Earth


End file.
